But please do not let the Department of Homeland Insecurity know that my hometown is practicing the federally banned practice of DEI by printing critical correspondence in a language other than the Queen’s English that our dear president has declared to be our official - and only - language.

Oops, it turns out the City’s full-time envelope stuffer accidentally put the Spanish-language version of this correspondence ahead of the English-language version without first checking the language preference of the above-mentioned “RESIDENT.”

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Warren, 91, was a three-sport athlete at UC Davis, known most prominently as a four-year starter in football, excelling as a center on offense and as a linebacker on defense.

When Bob was just seven years old and still going by “Bobby,” his dad, Earl Warren, was elected Governor of California.

Earl Warren, however, wasn’t elected just once to a four-year term as governor. No, he was elected three times, and remains as the only California governor so honored. He led the state from 1943 to 1953, but his third term was interrupted when President Dwight Eisenhower named him Chief Justice of the United States Supreme Court.

Thus, from the age of seven through his graduation from McClatchy High School, Bob Warren lived with his five older siblings in the historic Governor’s Mansion at 1526 H Street in midtown Sacramento. The mansion still stands, but California governors no longer live there.

It’s safe to say that none of his classmates at Crocker Elementary, Cal Junior High or McClatchy High School had anything close to that living arrangement.

At the age of seven, having just moved to Sacramento from the Bay Area so his dad could assume the governorship, Bob was the new kid at Crocker Elementary and went through a predictably awkward introduction to his new classmates.

Warren remembers that first day of school well.

“The teacher told everyone, ‘This is Bobby Warren. His dad is the new governor,’” Warren said.

“Most everyone had no idea what that meant, and they all went out on the playground except for one kid, Larry, who came over and asked me if I wanted to go outside and play. He was the only one, and we ended up being friends for life.”

As Bobby grew older and became Bob to his friends, he made the football team at McClatchy, one of Sacramento’s historic high schools, with opponents that included Christian Brothers and Woodland High School, along with schools down the Central Valley in Lodi, Modesto and Turlock.

One of his teammates at McClatchy, Gene Weiss, went on to play at Sacramento State.

Touchingly, years later, in 2024, Bob Warren and Gene Weiss participated in the ceremonial coin toss at midfield prior to the Causeway Classic.

After graduating from McClatchy, Bob spent part of the summer in Southern California and fancied the idea of playing football at UCLA. So he went to talk with legendary Bruins head coach Red Sanders, who was not inclined to give him an athletic scholarship.

“So I jumped in my Plymouth and immediately drove to Davis,” Warren recalled.

“Growing up I had a horse and rode most every day, so Davis’ history as an agricultural school had always appealed to me. I registered with a major in animal husbandry and signed up for football in the fall of 1954.”

At various times in his Aggie career, Warren was also on the swim team and the track team in addition to his football exploits.

In his four-year football career, he started every game except one, but he remembers well why he missed that game.

“My dad, obviously, had moved to Washington, D.C., and he had never seen me play football in college,” Warren said.

“So he came out for a game and sat on the 50-yard line down near the field behind the Aggie bench. But within 10 minutes they were loading me in the ambulance with a leg injury, and off I went to the Student Health Center, where Dr. Tom Cooper took care of me. My leg wasn’t broken, and I was okay to play the next week, but my dad had already gone back to D.C.”

Warren played with the likes of Aggie greats John Kidd, Marv Mays, Jim Waller and Myrel Moore.

Ted Forbes was his coach in 1954 and 1955, with Will Lotter taking over in 1956 and 1957. The 1956 team started the season 6-0 and went on to a 7-2 season and a share of the Far Western Conference championship.

In those days, when UC Santa Barbara still had a football team, the Aggies would take part in an annual All-Cal weekend, with UCD and Santa Barbara playing the first game, and Cal taking on UCLA in the so-called main event.

The site would alternate between Memorial Stadium in Berkeley and the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. The games were frequently standing room only in two of the biggest stadiums on the West Coast.

One year, the game against Santa Barbara was taking too long and delaying the start of the Cal-UCLA game. So, at the end of the third quarter, the game was called.

“We were all upset,” said Warren. “Both teams wanted to finish the game, no matter who was ahead. It didn’t seem fair to us. It was just a lack of respect, and we were all very disappointed.”

While he said it was challenging to be a student and an athlete and hold down a part-time job with the Davis Fire Department all at the same time, Warren noted without a doubt that his greatest joy at UC Davis was being a member of the football team.

“I have memories for life and still keep in touch with a number of my teammates,” Warren said.

After graduation he put all his athletic experiences to good use as an athletic director and coach for the California Department of Corrections at Soledad Prison in Monterey County.

After six years in that position, he moved back to Davis, where he currently lives, and founded Warren Real Estate, primarily covering Davis, Dixon, Woodland and Winters.

But Bob Warren never left the field of play, serving for over 40 years on the chain gang for UC Davis football games along the sidelines at Toomey Field.

Now a prominent booster of Aggie football, Warren said, “the fun is still going on. It’s an exciting time for Aggie football, and we’re taking important steps forward.”

Bob Warren, an athlete for all seasons at UC Davis and a man for all seasons in his adopted hometown of Davis.

Reach me at bobdunning@thewaryone.com

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However, Yolo Superior Court Judge Samuel McAdam rightly concluded that Carlos Reales Dominguez was legally insane three years ago when he killed Davisites David Breaux and Karim Abou Najm and seriously injured Kimberlee Guillory, using a knife in all three random attacks.

As Dominguez’s second trial unfolded in Woodland, we were fortunate to have excellent reports from the county courthouse by local journalists Lauren Keene and Darrell Smith.

Keene, in fact, may well be the best journalist in the country when it comes to covering legal criminal proceedings.

The seven-man, five-woman jury found Dominguez guilty of involuntary manslaughter, but Supervising Deputy Public Defender Dan Hutchinson, acting on Dominguez’s behalf, waived a jury trial on the sanity phase.

This left the determination of sanity solely in McAdam’s hands and he quickly concluded that “the overwhelming evidence at trial” was that Dominguez was not sane at the time of his crimes.

“It’s not difficult to reach the conclusion that the defendant was legally insane when he committed the crimes,” McAdam said.

“He had a mental disease. That was schizophrenia.”

From the outside looking in, there’s no doubt that McAdam’s ruling was sound and in complete accordance with California law.

But for those family members and friends of the three victims, their dismay at the outcome is understandable and their loss unimaginable.

No verdict and no sentence will ever bring back their loved ones or right the wrongs of Carlos Dominguez.

Keene’s all-encompassing report included statements from David Breaux’s sister, Maria Breaux, and Karim Abou Najm’s mother, Nadine Yehya.

“Finally, it’s over,” said Maria Breaux. “What a huge relief. My thoughts and heart are with David and everyone impacted. I hope the overriding lesson from this tragedy is the importance of early intervention for severe mental illness, and of treating every human being with compassion.”

Nadine Yehya said, “There are no words that can adequately express how we feel. We find it outrageous that a killer of two innocent souls might get out with only time served. We ask if the people of Davis are content with this outcome. From our end, we will continue to remember and honor our son Karim and work to keep his memory alive.”

Because he was ruled to be insane, Dominguez will not go free. At least not now, and perhaps not ever. He will soon be sent to a secure state hospital for treatment.

As the Public Defender’s office noted, “The verdicts recognize a difficult but important principle of California law that a person who, because of a severe mental illness, is legally insane at the time of the offense is not criminally responsible in the same way as someone acting with a sound mind. This trial was never an attempt to excuse what happened. It was an effort to ensure that the law accurately addressed Mr. Reales Dominguez’s intent and mental state at the time of these tragic events.”

The statement went on, “The outcome of this trial ensures that Mr. Reales Dominguez will remain confined in a secure state hospital for treatment, unless and until the law determines that he can safely be released. It reflects accountability under California’s legal framework while recognizing the devastating effects of severe and untreated mental illness.”

The case is over and judgment has been rendered.

Despite the correctness of McAdam’s ruling and the overwhelming evidence that Dominguez was insane at the time of his crimes, the pain for the loved ones of his victims endures.

There are not two sides to this story.

Only one very sad story for everyone.

Reach me at bobdunning@thewaryone.com

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The coaches and media, who sometimes don’t agree on anything, marched to the same tune when it comes to which teams will finish 1-2-3 when all is said and done.

Defending Big Sky and FCS national champion Montana State tops both polls, followed by Montana and UC Davis.

That just happens to be the order in which those three finished last year, with Montana State going 8-0, Montana 7-1 and the Aggies 6-2.

The Big Sky grew from 12 teams to 13 on July 1.

Longtime member Sacramento State moved up to the FBS as a member of the MAC, but the Big Sky quickly added former member Southern Utah along with Utah Tech. The Aggies will play both schools in 2026.

Additionally, each conference school will now play nine league games instead of eight, with three non-conference battles on tap as well.

While media members could vote for whichever teams they pleased, coaches were restricted from voting for their own team to finish first.

The obvious reason for this prohibition is that every coach would feel duty-bound to list his team first as a show of confidence to the team when the results were made public.

Otherwise, team members would rightly wonder why the coach voted for someone else.

It should be noted that the overall final results are public even if the ballots themselves are secret.

Montana State received 11 first-place votes from the coaches, while UCD received the other two.

Among the 38 media members voting, Montana State was listed 35 times at No. 1, with two votes for the Aggies and one for Montana.

Northern Arizona was fourth in the coaches poll, followed by Idaho State, Southern Utah, Idaho, Eastern Washington, Weber State, Northern Colorado, Cal Poly, Portland State and Utah Tech.

Idaho State was fourth in the media poll, followed by Northern Arizona, Idaho, Southern Utah, Eastern Washington, Cal Poly, Weber State, Northern Colorado, Portland State and Utah Tech.

Idaho State struggled to a 2-6 mark out of the gate last season, but won its last four games to finish 6-6 under former Aggie assistant Cody Hawkins.

As a result, optimism is high in Pocatello.

UCD went 9-4 overall last fall, opening the FCS playoff with a 47-26 win over Rhode Island before suffering a disappointing 42-31 quarterfinal loss to Illinois State.

With such a large league, a round-robin schedule is not possible, as each team fails to play three league members each season.

This fall the Aggies will miss Montana State, Northern Arizona and Idaho State.

UCD opens the regular season with three road games, traveling to Portland State Aug. 29, University of San Diego Sept. 5 and SMU Sept. 12.

The season home opener and final non-conference game is against Stetson University of DeLand, Florida.

Other home games at UC Davis Health Stadium include Montana, Eastern Washington, Northern Colorado, Utah Tech and Cal Poly.

The Eastern Washington night game will be nationally televised by ESPN2.

(My ballot: 1. UC Davis 2. Montana State 3. Montana 4. Idaho 5. Northern Arizona 6. Idaho State 7. Eastern Washington 8. Weber State 9. Southern Utah 10. Cal Poly 11. Portland State 12. Utah Tech 13. Northern Colorado).

Reach me at bobdunning@thewaryone.com

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TESTING TESTES ... You can add low testosterone to bone spurs as one of the conditions that will disqualify you from being a valued warfighter in this country.

Of course, Pistol Pete Hegseth will generously offer wimpy soldiers the opportunity to boost their testosterone to manly levels, which just happens to be the very definition of gender-affirming care.

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Richard Kleeberg is a retired College Professor and Attorney, living in Winters. His writing has been published in The Winters Express, Sacramento Bee, Los Angeles Times, Davis Enterprise and The Chronicle of Higher Education. Read more from him at JustThePoint.com

Soccer is Such a Silly Sport!

I have tried so hard to appreciate soccer. I really have.

But seriously, soccer is just so silly!

I can’t watch much of a soccer game without bursting out in chuckles. Who created this game? Who came up with these rules?

As the game begins, you’ll see about twenty players all start running toward one end of the field. They run around in large circles for a moment or two, until, suddenly, the ball flies down the field in the opposite direction. The players all turn the other way to chase the ball. And this back and forth chasing of the ball goes on and on. Run down the field to the left. Wait, there goes the ball the other way. Turn around! Run down the field to the right. Wait, there goes the ball back to the left. Turn around and run again! Over and over. That’s pretty much all that happens.

Every five or ten minutes, one of the players will surprise the crowd by trying to kick the ball into the goal, but these attempts don’t happen often. And they hardly ever succeed. Goals are rare in soccer; a 3-1 final score is considered a high-scoring game!

While almost all the players participate in the back and forth running, two players spend the entire game standing alone, one at each end of the field. I’ve been told they are placed there to defend the goal cage. But I suspect they are being punished for bad behavior. These two players must have done something wrong — why else are they forced to wear special costumes, making them look a bit like court jesters?

One of the funniest rules in soccer is that players cannot touch the ball with their hands. Why? Who knows? Maybe the guy who invented soccer just had really bad hands. No other sport denies its players the right to use their hands. It is a rule that is unique to soccer. Can you envision baseball or basketball being played with no hands?

There is an exception to the “no hands” rule. Those two players who stand at each end of the field, who wear the odd costumes, get to use their hands. Why? Nobody knows!

Every once in a while, all the soccer players suddenly stop running, and move off to the side of the field. One player is chosen to try what they call a “free” kick. (It is still not clear to me when a player actually has to pay for a kick.)

I think these occasional free kicks are a clever time-out strategy to allow all those tired runners to rest. The officials don’t say much about the free kicks, but they do seem to enjoy waving big yellow and red cards in the air. What these cards mean is unclear, but they sure are colorful!

When a game ends in a tie, soccer uses a unique method to pick a winner. A few players from each team stand about twenty yards from the goal, and try to score, one-on-one, against the goalie. The team that succeeds most often wins the game! Could you imagine a tied basketball game being decided by a free-throw competition after the game? Could you see a tied football game decided by a field goal contest after the game? Only soccer could have come up with this!

In almost all sports, a buzzer or a horn signals the end of the game. But not so in soccer. When the buzzer sounds to announce the end of a soccer game, the game is not really over. After the official ninety minutes of the game are completed, something called “extra time” is added to the clock. Why? Who knows?

How much extra time is added to the game? The officials don’t say, and even the players don’t know. A soccer game is over, but it is not really over, until it is once again, over!

Read more from Richard at JustThePoint.com

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The University of California, Davis’ Audit and Management Advisory Services (AMAS) released its independent audit of the financial records related to the NCAA Division I Women’s Equestrian program, which transitioned to a club sport on July 1, 2026.

The audit was conducted to determine if all required procedures were followed as the equestrian program was dropped from varsity to club status.

The University of California Office of the President’s Ethics, Compliance and Audit Services’ Quality Assurance team reviewed and confirmed AMAS’ organizational independence, conformance with auditing standards and key audit work papers and supporting documentation.

The audit did not find that Athletic Director Rocko DeLuca, members of the Athletics leadership team and other university officials acted outside of good faith or failed to comply with university protocols and accounting best practices during the evaluation process. AMAS also found no deviation from acceptable practice in how Athletics leadership and university officials carried out their responsibilities.

AMAS found that several outside parties, including consulting firms and concerned external stakeholders, relied on NCAA reporting to understand the basis for a decision to transition equestrian from a varsity to a club sport, and this led to assumptions that the university erroneously included the value of in-kind donations in estimates of potential cost savings. However, AMAS found that the decision was based on budgeting documents separately prepared for the UC Davis budget office, which did not include the value of in-kind donations.

AMAS concluded that UC Davis budget documents “appropriately” excluded the in-kind donations, which resulted in a difference of $690,000 between the NCAA-reported numbers and UC Davis’ internal budgeting in fiscal 2025.

AMAS recommended that Athletics strengthen its financial reporting practices by adopting standardized methods. In recent years, Athletics has prepared and reviewed financial outcomes using processes that were not based on accepted reporting workbooks or other formal, documented procedures. AMAS recommended that Athletics adopt standard practices, such as those that the NCAA uses, to bring its reporting into alignment with industry-recognized standards.

UC Davis leaders accept the audit’s recommendations to strengthen Athletics’ financial reporting processes and will implement appropriate corrective actions.

The university is committed to carefully reviewing allegations when they are brought forward and takes seriously any concerns raised.

UC Davis leaders have confidence in the professionalism, integrity and judgment of Athletic Director Rocko DeLuca, the Athletics leadership team and the university officials who participated in this process.

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Yes, by an overwhelming vote of 308-117, the People’s House accomplished something that even God has been unable to do — creating an extra hour of daylight all over our blessed land for every one of the 365 days in a calendar year.

Cleverly named the “Sunshine Protection Act” to confuse Mother Nature, this legislation promises to add one hour of daylight each day, no matter the day, month or year.

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First, however, I’d like to remind you of that sad day in 1981 when all of us Pulitzer hopefuls were beaten out for the top prize by a 26-year-old Washington Post reporter named Janet Cooke.

Cooke wrote a compelling and heartbreaking story titled “Jimmy’s World” about an 8-year-old inner-city kid from Washington, D.C., who had become addicted to heroin.

She clearly deserved to win journalism’s top prize until it was revealed that there was no Jimmy.

She had made the whole thing up.

She was fired immediately, the award was returned to Columbia University, and overnight Cooke went from the Pulitzer to the dumpster.

There have been other such instances of made-up stories and outright plagiarism, but in the 45 years since Cooke’s mortal sin, no Pulitzers have had to be returned.

Yes, reporters sometimes use fake “sources” to provide good copy, then hide behind shield laws when asked to reveal their sources in court.

We’re actually seeing that played out now as three New York Times reporters are being forced to testify about the recent Air Force One switcheroo that took place on the president’s recent trip to Turkey.

It’s been interesting, to say the least, to see Democrats supposedly concerned about the president they loathe flying on an unsafe airplane.

I wonder if they remind him to put on his seatbelt at takeoff and landing and put his cushy leather seat in the full upright position.

Fake news or not, if you want to make the president look bad, all a reporter has to do is cite “highly placed White House sources” who say the president is “talking to the walls” and “unknown aides” are actually running the country.

You then throw in a couple of stock paragraphs about the possibility of an unhinged president starting a nuclear war all by himself, and presto, you have front-page copy.

If someone then pins you to the wall for the names of your sources, you quickly plead “confidentiality,” and protest that all your sources would dry up if you revealed the name of even one.

At the same time, the paper’s editors can fire off a strongly worded editorial on the need for a free press in a free society. You can even cast yourself as a valiant defender of democracy.

With any luck, the next Pulitzer might be yours.

I remember once receiving a highly confidential City of Davis document that had been discussed in closed session when the mayor who opposed whatever was being debated contacted me about its contents.

The mayor agreed to meet me at midnight behind the garbage cans at the rear of Jack in the Box, where I was handed the purloined papers in a tightly sealed manila envelope. (I am not making this up.)

When I wrote about this heated issue without revealing the source of my information - “The Mayor, who asked to remain anonymous” - an outraged reader claimed I could only have received this information illegally and should be arrested and hauled off to court in Woodland.

Well, it was certainly correct that the mayor had acted illegally, but as the recipient of a theft I did not request or facilitate, I was in the clear.

What all this is leading up to is that one word I mentioned in the first paragraph - confession.

My confession.

Truth be told, I have been lying to you for many, many years.

Actually, there isn’t one big lie I have to confess, just a whole series of little lies.

To begin with, I don’t live in East Davis. Never have. In fact, I wouldn’t be caught dead in that part of town.

I am fond of telling you how I work at the kitchen table, when in truth, I don’t have a kitchen table. And I certainly don’t know how to type.

And now for the big stuff.

This column is not written by Bob Dunning at all. The real Bob Dunning left town penniless in 1969 to pursue a career as a VISTA volunteer in Opa-locka, Florida.

He hasn’t been heard from since.

In 1970, however, The Davis Enterprise saw fit to “recreate” Bob Dunning, figuring a homegrown product who once played Little League in this town would enhance the image of a “local” newspaper.

Working with a mug shot from Dunning’s third-grade class photo at West Davis Elementary - the last known picture of him alive - editors at The Enterprise were able to sustain this nonperson, though he is never actually seen in public.

All of which explains the convenience of Dunning “working at home,” for the paper never had to produce him when an angry reader came storming into the former newspaper office at Third and G.

Every year or so, the paper’s photo editor would touch up Dunning’s mug, taking away a hair or two and adding a few wrinkles. This bit of deception worked so successfully that readers occasionally reported “bumping into” Dunning around town.

Sadly, Bob Dunning never played a charity tennis match against Wimbledon champion Bobby Riggs.

He never ate the first Big Mac at the grand opening of Davis’ original McDonald’s.

He never ran with the 1984 Olympic Torch down Pole Line Road.

He never attended UC Davis.

And the Red-Headed Girl of his Dreams that he claims to have met in a steamy North Idaho laundromat was both a figment and a pigment of his nonexistent imagination.

But what of the columns that continue to run after The Enterprise supposedly let go of this alleged journalist several years ago?

Well, they are now produced by a battery of monkeys from the UC Davis Primate Center working nonstop 24 hours a day on 32 identical laptops.

Approximately once every 24 hours, they manage to put together enough legible copy to produce a whole column, with all proceeds going to PETA.

Dunning’s siblings, several of whom remain in Davis, have been paid handsomely for their silence.

You can allegedly reach Dunning at bobdunning@thewaryone.com

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So here, in no particular order, are the things that are making me happy on this fine summer day in the City of All Things Right and Relevant.

1. The Natalie Corona Splashpad

The City of Davis has rightfully come under a barrage of criticism on multiple fronts recently, but it got this one right.

Actually, a great deal of the credit goes to the hard-working splashpad committee that put in many long hours to make sure they got this project perfect right down to the last drop of water.

Not just perfect, but spectacular.

Pass by Central Park on any summer day and you’ll see dozens and dozens of kids of all ages and sizes screaming with delight. Literally having more unbridled fun and pure joy than even Disneyland can offer.

Best of all, there appears to be no age limit.

2. The Contentious Measure V campaign is now in the rearview mirror

Yes, there was a bit of divisiveness in town as proponents and opponents staked out their ground, but I’d rather live in a town that cares deeply about these things than in a town where anything goes.

Whether V was approved or rejected, I remain firmly convinced that Measure J is a good thing, as are Son of Measure J and Grandson of Measure J.

While the election was so close that even a short gust of wind could have changed the outcome, we’re lucky that we get to have a direct say over projects of this kind.

That said, I suspect the Willowgrove development on the November ballot will face far less opposition.

With two major developments totaling over 3,000 homes combined that we were voting on just five months apart, I’m certain that many people were evaluating both projects at the same time.

I figure that probably 70 percent of Davisites believe we need growth of some kind, but I doubt that more than 20 percent would have voted “Yes” on both projects.

Had Willowgrove not been looming in November, I think Village Farms might have slipped past the finish line.

With the rejection of Village Farms, it seems to me that Willowgrove’s chances of approval have improved substantially.

Conversely, had Village Farms been approved, Willowgrove would have faced a much more difficult climb than what awaits it now.

Was that fair to either project? Certainly not.

But in both cases, the final decision is ours.

And that’s a good thing.

3. Ryan Kreidler has found a home in Major League Baseball

Davis High School and UCLA superstar Ryan Kreidler had an up-and-down few years with the Detroit Tigers, where he struggled at the plate despite flashing his Gold Glove prowess as both an infielder and an outfielder.

After having a cup of coffee with the Pirates organization, he has now found a regular spot in the lineup - primarily at shortstop, but sometimes in center - with the Minnesota Twins.

Best of all, he’s now smacking the baseball like never before.

In one three-game stretch late last month, Kreidler went 7-for-10, including a home run, to push his batting average near .300, and later had a two-out, two-run single off a guy named Shohei Ohtani.

For the season, he now has five home runs, four doubles, two triples, 23 runs batted in and has scored 20 times.

I remember years ago when Ryan was playing shortstop for the Blue Devils, Davis High coach Dan Ariola invited our son Mick, a 9-year-old Little Leaguer, to come out to a team practice and play catch with some of the players.

Ryan Kreidler was the first one to greet Mick, put him at ease and make his visit special as he went through several baseball drills with kids twice his size.

I knew then that Ryan would be a superstar, no matter where life takes him.

4. Jumbo avocado terrorizes Davis shoppers

Speaking of things that are making me happy, a recent four-page, full-color Save Mart ad that landed in my East Davis mailbox has me laughing out loud.

For there, in plain sight, was an ad for a “2 lb.” avocado.

Now, I may make the best guacamole this side of Winters, but I generally use four or five avocados.

The chance to make a whole bowlful of this chunky, spicy delight with a single avocado sent me scurrying to Save Mart so I could be the first in line.

I was in such a hurry that I forgot my shoes, but they let me in the front door barefoot anyway.

Two-pound avocados have that effect on people.

I even took along the Red-Headed Girl of My Dreams to help carry this heavyweight fruit back to the car for the trip home.

Alas, while I thought these massive gems would be on full display, I couldn’t find them anywhere in the produce section.

When I inquired of a grocer as to where I might find the two-pound avocados, he gave me a look as if I were from Mars.

I should have brought the ad with me.

5. Fighting for that last parking spot

Several times a week I find myself at a local fitness club where folks do everything they can to tell Father Time to take a hike.

Parking is always at a premium, of course, since just about everyone drives to their early-morning workout.

These are super-fit folks who are about to bench press 400 pounds or swim 10 miles or spin on a butt-busting bicycle seat until they get dizzy, and yet they want to park their SUV as close to the gym as possible so they are only a few steps from the front door and don’t burn any more calories than necessary.

My workout is usually so short that I just double park and hope I don’t get towed.

Valet parking is clearly in order.

6. Former UC Davis Athletic Director has resurrected the Pac-12

I’m happy to report that former Aggie Athletic Director Teresa Gould has been awarded a new five-year contract after her heroic efforts to rebuild a decimated Pac-12 conference that at one point had been reduced to just two schools - Oregon State and Washington State.

The historic league that was founded in a Portland hotel room in 1915 as the Pacific Coast Conference with simply Cal, Washington, Oregon and Oregon Agricultural College as members, is now thriving with nine schools and seemingly growing by the day.

A decade or so ago, I had the chance to work closely with Gould on the Celebration of Life for legendary Aggie football coach Jim Sochor.

I was impressed with her sensitivity, her compassion and her attention to important details, even though Jim Sochor’s coaching days ended long before Teresa arrived at UC Davis.

Her success at what at first seemed to be an impossible task to rebuild the Pac-12 is remarkable.

But not surprising.

7. Hoping to beat Pope Leo at his own game

Among all the little details coming out about Pope Leo, the first American pope in the 2,000-year history of the Catholic Church, is that his real name is Bob.

And yes, that makes me happy.

Apparently, when you reach the Pearly Gates, if you simply say to St. Peter, “Hi, I’m Bob,” you’re in.

The second little detail that caught my attention in a recent New York Times article is that the pope plays tennis “regularly” and fancies himself as a fairly decent player. At least on those occasions when he’s not ministering to the world’s one billion Catholics.

Drone footage has convincingly revealed that there is a single, well-hidden, well-maintained tennis court at the Vatican.

So here’s the deal.

I hereby challenge Pope Leo to a Bob vs. Bob tennis match, two sets out of three, at a date of his choosing.

I’ll even concede homecourt advantage if he’ll agree to pay my airfare.

And who do I think will prevail in this Bobathon?

Well, let’s just say you’d be ill-advised to beat the pope if you hope one day to get into heaven, no matter what your first name happens to be.

8. In heartfelt recognition for all he has done, I award our president this incredible prize

Yes, after the Commander in Chief raked in $2.2 billion in the last year by convincing his diehard fans to buy a worthless coin, I today happily bestow upon one Donald J. Trump the first and only Nobel Fleece Prize.

“Fleece means to swindle, overcharge, or defraud someone out of their money. It likens the act of ripping someone off to shearing a sheep - painlessly stripping them of all their valuables.”

Sheep indeed.

That $2.2 billion is 440 times more than what he owes E. Jean Carroll, but his attorneys insist that if he has to pay up, he will suffer “irreparable harm.”

I should experience such harm.

And by the way, if you buy something in the morning and sell it the same afternoon, you are not an investor. You’re a gambler.

Unless, of course, you received inside information.

Reach me at bobdunning@thewaryone.com

(If something is making you happy today, feel free to share it here.)

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Our dear president, who doesn’t know a red card from a red state, thought he was going to be a hero for American soccer fans everywhere. He instead ended up being a goat. (And I do not mean the Greatest of All Time.)

Not only did he embarrass the home team, he inspired the opposition to turn in one of the best performances of the current World Cup.

In soccer terms, Trump’s intervention was a dreaded “own goal” in the worst understanding of the term.

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You know, tell people what to do about the neighbor’s dog that regularly poops on your lawn and pretty soon you’ll be nationally syndicated and commanding $50,000 per speaking engagement.

The problem is, there are only so many interesting and unique situations and pretty soon I suspect many of these advice columnists are simply making up the questions themselves so they can keep the column going.

Ann Landers started all this back in 1955 and kept pounding out columns for 47 years that ultimately had a worldwide audience of 90 million people who couldn’t solve ridiculous problems by themselves.

I guess we all like to wallow in someone else’s misery.

So the other day I tripped upon a “Dear Abby” column written by Abigail Van Buren while I was actually trying to find an online newspaper story about an innovative “deer” crossing on U.S. 97 just outside Klamath Falls.

If you think I’m going to admit to actually googling Dear Abby, you are sadly mistaken.

“Dear Abby,” came the question.

“What’s a kind way to let my husband know he’s mispronouncing a lot of common words?”

(I am not making this up.)

“My husband (a college-educated native English speaker) mispronounces a LOT of words, specifically common names, the name of our children’s school and some other frequently used words. How do I politely correct him? I feel this is because he doesn’t pay attention, and I’m sure others notice it as well. — ANNOYED IN CALIFORNIA.”

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Portions of this column have appeared previously on the Fourth of July. But even though the Fourth of July changes from year to year, my long-ago childhood memories remain the same.

I’ve spent the Fourth of July in a number of places across my favorite country, plus several times in Canada and once in Scotland. Much to my surprise, it is not a big deal in either of those countries.

Who knew?

While most holidays come and go, my memories of the Fourth go back to my days as a kid growing up in this very small town that had but one elementary school and absolutely no stoplights.

On our first Fourth of July after moving here from the big city of Portland, there were exactly 3,554 souls in Davis, plus several lost souls. With five kids in tow, my parents were early pioneers in trying to keep Davis schools open.

I’m not sure, but it seems as if the town has grown a bit since then, mostly before the invention of Measure J.

Despite our town’s small size, there was a kiddie parade in those days, but it was always led by the flag-bearing ROTC color guard from the University Farm. But they were not kids at all.

One year, however, they got called away at the last minute to some much more important event, I’m sure. Suddenly, my older brother J.J., who was carrying a very large flag as part of a family “Spirit of ’76” entry, was summoned into service to lead the parade. It was the first peacetime draft in American history.

Then again, my Fourth of July experiences haven’t all been in Davis, though they seem to have been remarkably similar no matter where I was. Except, of course, Canada and Scotland.

Yes, I did spend one Fourth on a tennis excursion in Scotland, where the locals kept referring to me and my playing partner, a Davis legend named Brett Stone, as “Yanks.” They also served haggis for dinner and there were absolutely no fireworks to be found. But at least the natives were friendly despite having a pair of ugly Americans in their midst.

One other year I found myself on foreign soil in Victoria, B.C., with my Red-Headed Bride of six days, expecting to celebrate the Fourth in proper style. We had been there three days earlier for an incredible Canada Day celebration where we sang “O Canada” with the crowd along the Inner Harbour and met Joe Canada himself.

We decided to stay over for the Fourth, only to learn that it’s not a particularly big holiday on the other side of the border. “No Fourth in the North” became our slogan for the day.

My birthplace of Portland is another great place to spend the Fourth, what with the greatest fireworks display on the West Coast erupting for nearly an hour from the exact geographic center of the Columbia River separating Oregon and Washington.

I’ve had memorable Fourths in Salt Lake City and Idaho Falls and Elko and Banff and Bend, not to mention getting hopelessly lost on a potholed dirt road at the top of Goat Mountain in Colusa County with the Red-Headed Girl of My Dreams. If you’re going to get lost as darkness falls on the Fourth of July, she’s not a bad choice of company.

And no, I did not get us lost on purpose.

But what really got my Fourth of July juices flowing was reading Bruce Gallaudet’s account a couple of years ago of the 10-year-old slugger from Woodland who hit three consecutive home runs in a tight win over the Davis National 9- and 10-year-old All-Stars.

Bruce Gallaudet, as you may remember, is the greatest sportswriter from here to the Oregon border.

His three-homer report reminded me of that legendary Davis Little League phenom named Jimmy Keylor, who also smacked three home runs in a single game long ago as the Davis All-Stars took three giant steps toward Williamsport before finally falling. (It was single elimination in those days.)

I was on that team and had walked all three times and was on third base each time Keylor came to bat. Not being the fast guy on the field, it was a thrill to lope home without fear that someone was going to throw me out.

Several weeks prior to Keylor’s incredible heroics on our town’s behalf, we all played in an exhibition game between a pair of Davis teams on the Fourth of July. I happened to be on the mound in relief, nursing a 5-3 lead — mostly off the powerful bat of Larry Caster — when Keylor came to the plate with the bases loaded and two outs in the bottom of the final inning.

Keylor was short and compact and incredibly powerful. He used a redwood tree instead of a baseball bat. He was the most feared Little Leaguer on this side of Williamsport.

I actually considered walking him intentionally to avoid the inevitable. Sure, it would have forced in a run, but I’d still have a 5-4 lead and at least a theoretical chance of pulling out the win.

As the crowd sat in hushed silence, I threw my very best fastball — at least 25 mph — straight down the middle. Keylor smiled as it arrived, mouthed the words “thank you” and blasted the ball halfway to Dixon, but I did manage to shake his hand as he rounded third and headed for home. Lucky for me, he later became my teammate.

As much as I wished at the time that I’d been able to set him down on strikes or at least induce a long fly ball to center, when I look back now, I wouldn’t change a thing.

What he did that day was memorable. For both of us.

Reach me at bobdunning@thewaryone.com

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Ever.

Although it’s unlikely Paul Revere ever kicked a goal without being offside, he is surely, from his star-spangled spot above, watching what is unfolding on the pitch below as we prepare to celebrate our nation’s 250th birthday.

Be that as it may, under the heading “there’s always a local angle,” I’d like to turn our attention northward and point out that Canada has also moved into the Round of 16 under the leadership of Kevin Blue, the CEO and General Secretary of Canada Soccer.

Yes, that’s the same Kevin Blue who served nearly five years as UC Davis Athletic Director before leaving in 2020 for the land of his birth as Chief Sport Officer for Golf Canada.

Born in Montreal and raised in Toronto, Blue moved into his new position with Canada Soccer in early 2024.

The other day I happened to trip (no yellow card) across an interview Blue did with Miranda Anthistle of the Canadian TV program Global News Morning.

I’ll share the good parts here, with the observation that when I watched the video I realized Blue hasn’t aged even a day since I first met him when he arrived at UC Davis from Stanford in 2016.

As one of the three host countries, Canadians were thrilled with last Saturday’s 1-0 win over South Africa in the Round of 32, a first for Canadian soccer in the World Cup.

Canadian coach Jesse Marsch had this to say to his team after the 1-0 victory over South Africa:

“I think it means a lot,” said Blue of Canada’s role as a host country.

“It means that Canada will be on display in the biggest sporting event in the world. Soccer is played in 211 countries around the world, all of whom are members of FIFA, and it’s truly the biggest global stage in sports, so it’s an opportunity for Canada to shine when the World Cup is all done.”

Asked what he hoped for, Blue noted, “I think we want to see our team compete successfully and make everybody proud first and foremost, but from a bigger perspective, we want the nation to be captivated by not only our team, but the sport and the global magnitude of the sport. Soccer is already the biggest participation sport in Canada. More youth players are playing soccer than any other sport.”

And here I thought every Canadian was born with a hockey stick in his or her hands.

In fact, I remember one summer day in Edmonton long ago when I noticed a deep, long and wide depression in the ground at a beautiful city park.

When I inquired why it was there, I was told “We flood that in winter and that’s where the neighborhood kids play hockey.”

Who knew?

But apparently, according to Blue, in the Great North kicking a big round ball has replaced slapping a small round puck as the sport of choice, though both games still require placing a round object into a net over the serious objections of a goalie.

Some have described soccer as hockey on grass, while others have described hockey as soccer on ice.

Added Blue of soccer, “In the last 10 years we’ve seen such a massive growth in the game. I think you inevitably see gravity pulling Canadians in the direction of soccer. We’re still a relatively young soccer country, but there is now a lot of tailwind for the sport. I think everybody in Canada, especially Canada Soccer, recognizes the trailblazing nature of our women’s program, and now it’s the men’s opportunity.”

Anthistle, the interviewer, noted that she is a native of England and still follows English soccer religiously, giving her mixed loyalties in the World Cup.

“I’d like to talk about multiculturalism in Canada, which is such a beautiful thing and, of course, one of our country’s strengths,” she pointed out.

“What’s your advice for those fans who came from other countries but who have lived in Canada for a long time? Who should they cheer for?”

At that, Blue broke into a broad smile and with a charming laugh said simply, “Cheer for Canada.”

O Canada.

Go Canada.

Reach me at bobdunning@thewaryone.com

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At the stroke of midnight this morning, July 1, UC Davis Athletics has officially become a member of the Mountain West Conference.

Whether that momentous moment took place in Mountain Daylight Time or Pacific Daylight Time might never be known.

Not that it matters, given that actual competition won’t begin in the newly expanded league until August.

The Aggies have indeed come a long way since their days in the Far Western Conference over 100 years ago when sports like boxing were included among the intercollegiate offerings.

The Mountain West Conference has experienced an extreme round of musical chairs in the last two years, with five members leaving and a number of newcomers, including UC Davis, added.

As of that same July 1 date, former Mountain West members Boise State, Colorado State, Utah State, San Diego State and Fresno State have joined Oregon State, Washington State, Texas State and Gonzaga in the newly constituted Pac-12.

Not allowing those losses to be a knockout blow, Mountain West Commissioner Gloria Nevarez quickly added the Aggies, Hawaii, Northern Illinois, Texas-El Paso, Grand Canyon, Utah Tech, Colorado College and North Dakota State.

They join existing members UNLV, New Mexico, Nevada, San Jose State, Wyoming and the Air Force Academy.

To be sure, some schools will compete in every sport the Mountain West offers, while others will compete only in certain selected sports.

The Aggies, for instance, will remain in the Big Sky Conference for football, while North Dakota State will be a football-only member in the Mountain West.

The vast majority of UC Davis sports will compete in the Mountain West after UCD ended its 20-year affiliation with the Big West.

On the women’s side, the Aggies will play a full Mountain West schedule in basketball, cross country, golf, gymnastics, indoor track and field, outdoor track and field, soccer, softball, swimming and diving, tennis and volleyball.

Mountain West competition for UCD on the men’s side will be provided in basketball, baseball, cross country, golf, outdoor track and field, soccer and tennis.

In sports not offered by the Mountain West, UCD will compete in the West Coast Conference in beach volleyball and men’s water polo, in the Gold Coast in women’s water polo, the Mountain Pacific in field hockey and STUNT, and the Big 12 in lacrosse.

“Today marks the beginning of an exciting new chapter for UC Davis Athletics,” said Aggie Athletic Director Rocko DeLuca.

DeLuca noted that UCD sports will be available for viewing at MW+, the Mountain West’s in-house television network.

“As we officially join the Mountain West, MW+ gives Aggie fans a new way to follow our teams and stay connected to our student-athletes from anywhere,” DeLuca noted.

“Subscriptions purchased through UC Davis will directly support Aggie Athletics, creating another opportunity for our fans, alumni and supporters to invest in the future of our program.”

Nevarez echoed those sentiments.

“MW+ is a game-changer for the Mountain West,” said the commissioner.

“Not only are we expanding how fans connect with our schools and student-athletes, we are also creating a powerful new revenue stream that directly benefits our member institutions. This is about building our conference. This platform allows us to deliver more of our stories, more of our student-athletes and more of our live events directly to the audiences who care most.”

Nevarez, who grew up in Santa Clara, was a basketball standout at UMass, then earned a law degree at Cal.

When she visited the Davis campus a number of months ago, Greg Wong and Bob Dunning were the broadcast team for an ESPN+ baseball telecast between UCD and Cal State Northridge.

After throwing out the first pitch - a 104-mph fastball down the middle for a strike - Nevarez joined Wong and Dunning in the broadcast booth for a short interview.

“Davis has always been high on my list because they look a lot like us,” Nevarez noted.

“The shared values, educating young people in higher education through sport, the grittiness, the emphasis on the student-athlete, yet still being competitive at the highest level.

“The thing that really resonated with me the most is how much everyone says they appreciate the culture here. Having each other’s backs, being a big family. You could tell that it wasn’t just a cliché. It’s really part of who the Aggies are.”

Nevarez is a 28-year veteran of intercollegiate athletics. Prior to taking the helm of Mountain West in 2023, she served five years as commissioner of the West Coast Conference after a stint as Senior Woman Administrator for the Pac-12.

Reach Bob Dunning at bobdunning@thewaryone.com

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I don’t have a word limit and I do not censor, though I do have two rules: No F-bombs and no exclamation points.

Okay, out of respect for the First Amendment, I will allow the occasional exclamation point, but remember, if your words don’t exclaim something all by themselves, no amount of punctuation can save them.

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“Reporters at McClatchy Withhold Bylines in Dispute over AI Content,” it said as chills ran up and down my scoliosis.

Locally, of course, McClatchy means The Sacramento Bee, an esteemed, multiple Pulitzer Prize-winning publication that has been around nearly as long as California has been a state.

But forget the Pulitzers, impressive as they may be. The Bee has always set high ethical standards for all its editors and reporters, be they award-winners or not.

Unfortunately, like nearly every other newspaper in the country, The Bee’s circulation is a mere fraction of its former self, and it now barely has enough folks in the newsroom to field a company slow-pitch softball team.

The Bee was founded by Sacramento’s McClatchy family but was sold not long ago to the hedge fund Chatham Asset Management, which retained the McClatchy name. The chain has 30 papers in 14 states.

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It could be that the final score of the game - Iran 0, Belgium 0 - had something to do with that malady raising its ugly head.

Still, I don’t know how you can even call that the final “score,” since there was absolutely no “score” at all.

As a complete non-believer in AI, I have several times exposed ChatGPT as a complete fraud because of its inability to accurately describe the 1971 “Miracle Game” of UC Davis football lore.

This, even though I wrote a long piece for The Sacramento Bee, on deadline, after attending that very game on the campus of Cal State Hayward on a bright and sunny November afternoon.

ChatGPT got so many things wrong in recounting the game that if I were a journalism professor, its effort would have received a big fat “F.”

In fact, ChatGPT became so desperate with all the errors it was making and that I was correcting as we went along that it finally threw its robotic arms up in the air in frustration and admitted, “It’s clear I have misremembered some details.”

I’ll say.

But wow, that’s the first time I’ve ever heard anyone - or any robot - use the word “misremembered.”

My newfound friend, whom I named “Goober,” began to beg. If you’ve never seen a robot grovel, it’s not a pretty sight.

“Could you please point out which errors remain? I’m committed to getting this legendary moment exactly right.”

That wish never happened, but why should I be surprised? I mean, I was at the game and Goober hadn’t even been born.

I had not communicated with him again until today when I got the bright idea to have Goober take a stab at writing my World Cup column for me.

Such a request is completely ethical, as long as you notify the Pulitzer Prize committee ahead of time, which I did.

My instructions were simple.

“Please write a typical Bob Dunning humor column about the World Cup.”

Nothing more, nothing less.

“Sure,” Goober replied as he willingly took on this assignment.

But before he got started on the task at hand, Goober did a little unflattering editorializing about my style.

“Bob Dunning’s columns typically mix small-town observations, self-deprecating humor, local characters, digressions, and a tendency to wander cheerfully away from the ostensible topic before circling back. Here’s an original piece in that spirit — not an actual Bob Dunning column, but an imitation of the style and tone:”

Take it away, Goober.

“World Cup Fever Arrives in Davis (Sort Of)

By a remarkable coincidence, the World Cup has once again arrived at precisely the same time that I have once again failed to understand the offside rule.

This annual tradition now stretches back several decades and shows no signs of ending.

Every four years I convince myself that this will be the tournament when I finally grasp soccer’s most mysterious concept. Every four years, about 15 minutes into the first match, an announcer says, ‘And of course he’s offside,’ and I stare at the television with the same expression my Golden Retriever used to reserve for ceiling fans.

The dog, at least, had an excuse.

World Cup fever is definitely spreading through Davis. You can tell because people who ordinarily spend their summers discussing irrigation schedules and tomato varieties are suddenly experts on the national team of Croatia.

Yesterday I ran into a friend at the grocery store.

“What do you think about Morocco’s chances?” he asked.

This is a man who once spent 20 minutes trying to remember whether a soccer ball was inflated with air or helium.

Now he’s analyzing midfield depth.

The World Cup does that to people.

Of course, Davis has always embraced international culture. We are a university town. On any given day you can hear six languages before you’ve finished your coffee. During the World Cup, however, those six languages are all apparently discussing penalty kicks.

At one local café, a crowd had gathered around a television early in the morning to watch a match. The place was packed.

I assumed there was some kind of emergency.

Perhaps the city council had finally agreed on something.

No. It was simply a group-stage game between two countries separated by 4,000 miles and several centuries of complicated history.

Everyone seemed completely invested.

One fellow leaped from his chair after a goal and accidentally launched half a blueberry muffin onto a nearby laptop.

That’s commitment.

I remember when sports fandom in Davis was simpler.

People rooted for the Aggies.

Sometimes they rooted against Sacramento traffic.

That was about it.

Now residents are waking up before dawn to watch matches being played on the other side of the planet.

I have neighbors who couldn’t tell you the score of the Super Bowl but can explain the tactical differences between a 4-3-3 and a 4-2-3-1 formation.

To me, those sound like area codes.

The beauty of the World Cup, though, is that you don’t really need to understand it completely.

You can appreciate the excitement.

You can admire the skill.

You can marvel at athletes who run continuously for 90 minutes while you consider yourself physically active because you parked three spaces farther from the store entrance than usual.

And every once in a while, you can even pretend you know what’s happening.

That’s my strategy.

When the crowd cheers, I cheer.

When the crowd groans, I groan.

When somebody mentions offside, I nod thoughtfully and say, “Yes, that’s been a problem all tournament.”

Nobody has challenged me yet.

The World Cup will eventually end, as it always does.

The jerseys will disappear.

The early-morning watch parties will subside.

The café televisions will return to showing news channels and weather forecasts.

And I will return to my normal life, still carrying the comforting certainty that four years from now I will once again announce, with complete confidence, that this is finally the year I understand the offside rule.

It probably isn’t.”

Thank you, Goober. Well done.

I appreciate you taking care of my writer’s block. I’d give you a B+ this time and invite you out for a cup of coffee to discuss your future as a journalist.

And, for the record, our home has both a Golden Retriever and a ceiling fan.

Reach me at bobdunning@thewaryone.com
Reach Goober at your own risk.

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With a margin of defeat of just 276 votes of the 23,871 cast, I’m sure the Village Farms development team has a few thoughts right about now on what they might have done differently.

When you think about it, if only 139 “No” voters had gone the other way on Measure V, Village Farms would be a reality, not a distant dream.

It could be that the project was too large to convince a majority of Davis voters that it would not have had some negative impacts. Had the proposal stopped at the tree line of the drainage canal as a northern boundary, that might have done the trick.

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“We are excited to welcome Brittany Lampson to UC Davis as the first head coach in our STUNT program’s history,” said Director of Athletics Rocko DeLuca.

“Building a new program requires vision, strong leadership and a commitment to the student-athlete experience. We are confident Brittany is the right person to establish that foundation. Under her leadership, we look forward to building a program that reflects the values of UC Davis, represents our university with pride and competes at the highest level nationally.”

Lampson arrives at UC Davis with a proven track record of building successful programs and developing student-athletes both on and off the competition floor. Since 2022, she has led the cheer and STUNT programs at Lodi High School, guiding the STUNT team to three league championships while helping establish one of the region’s top competitive cheer programs. An educator by profession and coach by passion, Lampson holds a master’s degree in curriculum and instruction from the University of the Pacific and is widely connected throughout California’s cheer and STUNT landscape.

Throughout her career, Lampson has built a reputation for developing strong team cultures, mentoring student-athletes and establishing successful programs. Her commitment to excellence in both academics and athletics has helped student-athletes grow as competitors, leaders and individuals.

“I am incredibly honored and excited to join UC Davis as the head STUNT coach,” said Lampson.

“This opportunity is a dream come true and represents the culmination of a lifelong passion for cheer and STUNT, as well as years of work building programs and developing student-athletes. What excites me most about coaching at UC Davis is its commitment to excellence in athletics, academics and community. As an educator and coach, I value the opportunity to help student-athletes grow not only as competitors, but also as leaders and individuals.”

Added Lampson, “Being part of STUNT’s inaugural varsity season at UC Davis is especially meaningful. There is a unique privilege in helping establish the culture, standards and identity of a program from the very beginning. I am excited to work with our student-athletes, connect with the campus community and build a program that reflects the values, integrity and traditions of Aggie Athletics. I am grateful for the opportunity and can’t wait to get started.”

At the 2026 NCAA Convention, all three divisions voted to approve STUNT as the NCAA’s newest championship sport, with the inaugural NCAA championship expected in spring 2027.

Additional information regarding the Aggies’ inaugural STUNT season, schedule and roster will be announced in the coming months.

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