Did a Wisconsin woman really try to steal 90 breadsticks from Olive Garden?
If she did, I certainly hope she plans to share her newfound bounty
There’s a story making the rounds about an 82-year-old woman named Ruth Vanderhoff who was banned from all 41 Olive Garden restaurants in the state of Wisconsin for requesting 14 consecutive breadstick refills off the “unlimited” menu.
I have received several dozen emails from friends and family suggesting that this story could well have been about me, given my lifelong love of “all-you-can-eat” buffets.
Olive Garden is famous for its “never-ending” pasta bowl and “unlimited” soup, salad and breadsticks deal.
Generally, you get six breadsticks each time you request more, which means Ruth would have received the original six, plus 14 more orders for a grand total of 90 breadsticks.
She allegedly ate several of the breadsticks and put the rest in a roller bag she kept hidden under the table.
When police were summoned and leveled a felony charge for bread burglary, Ruth insisted she had done nothing wrong and wanted the definition of “unlimited” included in the police report.
True story?
Not likely.
Probably what I like to call Ai - with a lowercase “i,” which stands for Artificial Idiocy.
First off, there are only nine Olive Gardens in Wisconsin, not 41.
Second, if it were truly possible to escape with 15 orders of breadsticks from Olive Garden, I’d have done it first.
Their breadsticks alone are worth the price of admission.
Several times when our kids were younger, my Sweetheart and I would take a late-night ride up the valley on our way to Oregon, stopping by an Olive Garden in Redding just before closing time and picking up a large to-go order to keep everyone happy for the rest of the moonlit journey into the Great North.
I’ll admit there are few things I enjoy more than eating while driving. But painful experience has taught me it’s impossible to eat a Big Mac while keeping both hands on the wheel.
Cheetos? Yes. French fries? Fine, but don’t try dipping them in ketchup.
Never-ending pasta bowls? Not in a million years.
But breadsticks are the perfect treat for an ambidextrous driver with three hands.
I’m happy to have every passenger passionately indulging in fettuccine alfredo and meatballs smothered in marinara, just as long as I can have an endless supply of soft and warm Olive Garden breadsticks.
And if I see Ruth Vanderhoff hitchhiking with her roller bag between Redding and Klamath Falls, I will most definitely stop, offer her a ride and have her sit in the front seat.
Trust me on this.