Friday Fish Fry: Reaching a "fair" settlement in Ukraine, VP candidates rolling oranges, the Holy Bible must be read in Oklahoma's public schools and more
Gas is so cheap in Oregon that it may be worth the drive
A STRANGE DEFINITION OF "FAIR" ... My friend Glenn from Southern California sent me a personal note wondering why I was "disparaging" Donald Trump's plan to end the war in Ukraine with a deal that is "Fair to both sides."
Glenn has a point. I mean, what can be wrong with "fair"?
Well, here's the deal.
Let's say my neighbor, completely unprovoked, launches a molotov cocktail through my front window, burns down my house and kills my entire family. And afterwards claims my property as his own and refuses to leave.
And now a mediator named Donald Trump steps in to heal my neighborhood with a plan that is "Fair to both sides."
The only problem with that plan, Glenn, is that sometimes - in fact most times - there are not two sides to a story, with Truth sitting somewhere in the middle.
In the case of the Russian invasion, the Truth tilts only to one side: Ukraine.
FRUIT FOR THOUGHT ... Apparently, there is a tradition on airplanes that carry both political candidates and members of the press, for reporters to write a question on an orange and roll it to the front of the plane where the candidate can answer the question and then roll the orange back down the aisle.
This happened with Coach Walz the other day when the orange he received from the press asked "Dream Dinner Guest?"
It took Walz a day and a half to answer, but when the orange was returned it said "Bruce Springsteen."
How original.
Now, if someone rolls an orange my way with the same question, it won't take me 36 hours to respond.
There are many candidates, of course, but for my dream dinner guest I'd pick one Samuel Clemens.
Sam, you see, used to write a regular column for the Territorial Enterprise and I used to write a regular column for the Davis Enterprise.
I'm sure we'd have much to talk about.
(Would love to hear about your dream dinner guest either written on an orange or in the Comments Section.)