If I had 1.7 billion dollars what a wonderful world this would be

A person could fix a lot of things with a pile of Powerball cash

I've never played Powerball.

I don't play poker.

I don't go to the track to bet on the ponies.

I think the devil himself lives inside a slot machine.

Scratchers are the biggest con job ever, revealing a "32," on a printed ticket when a "33" would have won you a million dollars. This, just to trick you into thinking you were "so close" to winning, when "33" is actually no closer to "32" than it is to zero.

Lest you think I'm some sort of finger-wagging moralist trying to shame everyone for their shabby gambling habits, I will admit to having occasionally placed a legal bet or two on college football games when I've happened to be in the state of Nevada on game day.