So now, at long last, Donald Trump wants to go to heaven

Dear Mr. President, take my hand and I'll tell you what I know

President Donald Trump
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, D.C. 20500

Dear Mr. President:

I know I promised not to bombard you again with another letter after you rejected the advice I sent to you with other concerns earlier this week.

But now that you have publicly expressed a desire to go to heaven, I consider it my patriotic duty to give you some brotherly advice on the matter.

For starters, my $59.99 printed-in-China, tariff-free Trump Bible tells me to "Judge not."

I will do my best to follow that directive as it concerns your relationship with the Almighty.

I honestly don't know what's truly in your mind or in your heart or in your soul. That's between you and God.