They told me swimming would be good for my body - I'm still waiting

I think I'll go back to "An apple a day" to keep the grim reaper away

"Summer is here and you've decided this is the year to trade your running shoes for a pair of swim goggles," said the opening line of a New York Times story a few weeks ago by science writer Dana G. Smith.

So, if I had followed Dana's advice, I would have been jogging around the neighborhood with a pair of swim goggles on my head. Sounds charming, but I'm not sure what the neighbors would think.

"Maybe you've tweaked a knee or need a lower impact form of cardio," Smith goes on.

Trust me, Dana, I've tweaked more than my knee in the last few years.

Back in the days when I would routinely jog six miles a day and throw in three sets of tennis for good measure, I assumed such activity would allow me to lead an active and fruitful life until I was at least 120 years old and all of our kids had finally graduated from college.

Mind you, even on the best of days I'd find a dirt road in a corn field for my daily jog so no one could question my 2 mph pace. I used to run in town, but got tired of people driving by and asking me if I needed a ride.

Tennis, meanwhile, was invariably on hardcourts, which I later learned is brutal on your feet, your ankles, your knees and your hips. There are much more forgiving tennis courts made of clay or grass, but such courts do not exist in this part of the world.

One day I visited an orthopedic surgeon who pointed out to me that our joints are like tires on a car. The more you use them, the more they wear out, until pretty soon there's nothing left of them at all.

Now they tell me.